Birthday Blessings

On the days leading up to my birthday, my daughter would come to me and say "It's only 1 more day until your birthday. Are you so excited?!?!?" Umm, sure? On the eve of my birthday, I stayed up late making my treat for work. It was Tae Kwon Do night, so I was tired and accidentally fell asleep on the couch while I waited for it to cool down. This meant that I actually heard my husband's alarm in the wee hours of the morning and woke up to take care of said treat. Before I could make my way to bed, he came out and was excitedly wishing me a Happy Birthday. Two things you should know about me: I don't  like the spotlight - or mornings. :) But still, it was pretty sweet of him. As he was leaving for work, K woke up and after telling daddy goodbye and that she loved him (melts my heart!) she climbed into bed with me, smothered me with kisses and fell back to sleep. She didn't kick me once in her sleep. Now that's a birthday treat for sure!

 
 Before I went to work, my son told me I couldn't come out yet and I heard him scurrying around. He was setting up this birthday wish they all had built out of LEGOs the night before.





Then my sweet husband and kids surprised me at lunchtime by bringing me a cake he made, balloons, cards and presents. They even serenaded me right there in my cubicle!My favorite part was when Zander kept exclaiming that it was "bleeding"!

 And then they took me to Olive Garden for lunch. Yum!

Then my little tag-a-long begged to stay with me at work because it was my birthday. Gotta love working at a children's ministry- she fit right in!

The flowers K made me.

I was given cards and a Ferraro Rocher by my sweet coworkers. I received messages from my brother and some wonderful friends. I read a sweet note on Facebook from my mom that may have teared me up a bit!

It's a girl! Thirty-two years ago she came into our lives, Happy Birthday! Although I was told unexpectedly that I was pregnant, you were welcomed with opened arms to be loved by us all. The doctor wanted to move your date of birth up a week, but being a school teacher and getting ready for someone to take over for me, I said, "No, she'll have to wait!". And she did! What a joy she has been. Love you! Love, Mom and Dad

At church, I was greeted in the parking lot by my dad who called me the "birthday girl" as tradition would have it. It always makes me feel young when he says that! Before I got down the hall my best friend and our moms were in the nursery and I got more birthday wishes. I was serenaded in the hallway as our youth pastor broke out in song, then in one class and then when all the kids came together. It's a good thing I brought cookies or they may not have been happy so happy to sing to me! All in all, it was a great day - even if it means I'm getting older. The many posts by family and friends on Facebook were all so sweet and encouraging. Thanks, everyone! I feel very blessed. 

Lead Me On And I Will Run After You

I sit here knowing I should go to bed, yet I keep pondering a decision I have to make. Friday is my deadline. I am the worst decision maker. While some may think I've ignored a question to which I need to give an answer, it's usually that I've been thinking over it (probably too much!) and am on the fence. I like to take every angle, weigh every option. Chalk it up to my odd perfectionism that only applies to certain areas.

The only time I can without a doubt say I was led by the Lord was the decision to go on a mission trip 2 years ago. It was something I normally wouldn't have stepped out of my comfort zone and done, but I'm so glad I listened to and obeyed the plans the Lord had for me. Maybe that's what brought to mind this song as I have been sitting here praying and contemplating about it tonight. Either way, it's a great song with powerful words and really should be the prayer of our hearts as Christians.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

It's so easy to get caught up in things that really don't matter- especially these days with the numerous distractions. After I came back from that trip, this verse also became one of my favorites. Hopefully this can be an encouragement to someone else today as well!

Hebrews 12: 1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Six Going on Seven

I remember seeing *those* kids in public. You know, the ones that you wanted to give parenting advice to even though you weren't a parent yet. You thought teaching and being around different kids for several years gave you the credentials to know better than they did. I take it all back! We were "blessed" with a busy, mind-of-his-own, loud, disobedient one. I was on the other side of those looks and pointing now.

I remember people saying that 4 was the magic years for boys. Ok, just TWO more years. Four came and went. Five came and went. Six, here we go. This has to be the year! Ahhh, yes, I think we have made it.

Awhile back I was looking back at old pictures and one thing I noticed was the huge stinker-ish smile he always seemed to have on his face. He sure was a fun loving kid...if fun meant running away from you in public or making messes, etc. At least there was always a smile on his face! I used to joke that kids were expensive, not because of all the things they needed, but because of all the things they destroyed along the way. There was a lot of destruction along the way, but looking back I realize a lot of it was just his curiosity that got the best of him.

I'm not going to lie- those years were pretty frustrating and sometimes terrifying. For example, the time we were at the grocery store and somehow the 3 yr. old figured out how to get out of the seat belt of the extra long cart and I couldn't catch up with him through a product display because of said cart so I had to make a choice of leaving my cart with a baby in it or getting my son. (Thankfully an older mom saw the whole thing happening and said I'll watch her, you go after him.) After that, I sure did go buy one of those backpack leashes and my view of them forever changed!

I love this kid dearly and our lives would be so empty without him and his antics. I would miss the hilarious things he says on a daily basis. (Case in point: he had me laughing so hard during his math lesson today. Who knew math could be so funny?) He is so smart. I can see the Brown mechanic's brain. He excels in math and reading. He LOVES animals. Wild Kratts is his favorite show. He knows way more animal facts than I do! He is always coming up with ways to do things (which usually involve creating a robot to do some part of the project). He currently wants to play basketball and hockey. And the one thing that has always remained is his sweetness. He is so very sweet to babies and little ones. He always wants to get things for other people. And the sweetest thing for me was when we were at Target last week. While Tim and K headed out, Z insisted on grabbing all the bags and told me on the way out that he wanted to get them all so that I didn't have to carry anything to the car. My heart melted. At that moment, I realized he's nowhere near that rambunctious little toddler. He's a sweet six year old that I am so very blessed to call my son.

Grandma Brown

There's just so many things I associate with that name. Her laugh. Her smile. The Folgers instant coffee. The way she would always pop a mint in because one time I told her she had coffee breath. Mainly, memories from her place where I kinda grew up. Hot summer days, sitting in the living room with a cool breeze coming in the door while we were watching or listening to a Tiger's game. Playing countless games of "ghosty" baseball in the backyard with my brother. Swinging from, climbing or raking huge piles of leaves from the big maple tree out front. Tinkering with things in my dad's (was grandpa's) shop out front. There are some memories of her homeschooling us, but as I've been told my grandma and I didn't see eye to eye on the work that needed to be done and we butt heads on that, so I think that's why I don't remember a lot. The most memories of all had to do with the kitchen- from helping can or freeze food, to the annual event of making all our baked goods for the fair each summer. I have so many fond memories of her helping us create the nicest looking cakes, cookies and pies. I can still see her showing us how to carefully pour the pumpkin filling in and it comes back to me every time I see a pumpkin pie. And the birthday cake. The banana, 2-tiered cake with powdered sugar frosting and walnuts to decorate it in the number of years that sat on her silver stand.

She was a stubborn, strong, dear, sweet old lady that I didn't come to realize until it was too late. I remember that day where it all started. She had been taken to the hospital where we then found out she had cancer and things looked pretty grim. My mom read in her journals later that she had suspected it, but never mentioned a thing. That's how she was. I remember visiting her in the hospital and my pastor and my best friend's dad coming to comfort us and pray with us. It just seems like another lifetime because her dad is with our Lord now too.

It was a year long battle with ups and downs. I saw my parents take care of her with so much love and respect. It's been 14 years, but I remember the day like yesterday when I was notified that she had passed away in the night. There were no goodbyes. I used to often wonder which way is really better? A quick or drawn out event? I resolve that neither is better. They both stink! I also often wonder if I ever told her I loved her? The Brown side isn't that lovey dovey family and I don't think I did. I can only hope she knew it even though I never said it. And now, oh how I wonder what she would think of me? What would she think of my family and the choices I've made over the years? Each year around Memorial Day we go visit the gravesides of those loved ones who are gone. It seems silly to some, but just being there brings back memories because there were those years past that some of them used to do the same thing with us.

Oh how I wish my children could have met her, but the memories live on as I bake them her bread and banana cake. And better yet- they have their own "Grandma Brown". I remember early on how my mom didn't want to be called that because that's what Grandma was called. While Kenzie was going through last names, she asked me today "Is my grandma, Grandma Brown?" And I said yes. Yes, she is. It's funny how history repeats itself. I was homeschooled and taken care of by my grandma and now the same thing is happening with my children. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful, godly parents who I can trust to help teach and train my children. I hope so much that they will have such love and adoration for their Grandma Brown as I did for mine. If the past few years have been an indicator, well then I think they're on the right track. I felt very much like chopped liver when they found out Grandma couldn't spend the day with them and they were stuck with mom.

What can I do?

This thought keeps going through my head for the last week. What can I do to help? What can I do to bring in more money for my family, for the ministry I work at, for my friend's family that was in a tragic accident, for those going on mission trips, and for the people I met on Cat Island who lost SO much from the hurricane.

The hardest part is choosing one over the other and I would like to help all my friends. This morning, the last one is the biggest on my mind: Cat Island. As some of you know, I spent a week there last summer. It was the first mission trip I had ever been on and it was an amazing experience that I still just haven't been able to sum up into words. The bottom line: it made a huge impact on my life and I feel the need to help them during this time.

I just read Caleb's account of the devastation on the island and the great need they all have for water, food, basic supplies and materials to rebuild their homes. It makes my heart break as everywhere I turn in our house, I see how incredibly blessed we are with all of that. We have SO much to be thankful for! We have a roof over our head and it's intact. Electricity, drinking water and food. All the things we take for granted most of the time.

With my work situation currently up in the air, I can't give the money I don't have or possibly won't be getting. So what can I do? Thinking of how much we have and I've wanted to do a garage sale, I think now's the time to have that sale! I had my kids sit here and watch the slideshow of the devastation they're dealing with and I'm so proud of them going through items and saying "Sell it!".

So what can you do?

PRAY!

GIVE!
(I can personally vouch for these people that 100% of donations are going to the relief efforts on Cat Island.)

DONATE
If you have anything laying around the house that you want to donate to the garage sale let me know. I'm hoping to get the sale ready by Thursday, but might have to do it the following week as well. To maximize the money we can raise, I will check ebay to see the going rate and figure out which avenue would be the most advantageous to sell them.

Thanks to those of you who took the time to read this. I will keep you updated on how this plays out, but my intent is to give mostly to the Cat Island fund. If you would like to donate items toward the McClaren family fund, I will keep it separated if you let me know. You can read their story here and find out where to send monetary donations directly as well.

My Dead Flowers

Apparently I didn't get my Grandma Brown's green thumb. My husband and I have a joke about how he gets me flowers and I manage to kill them quickly. One day I received flowers at work. All I saw was the reminder card about watering your flowers and I remember laughing and saying that these had to be from him. (I found out later there actually was a note from him, I just missed it.) My husband usually gets me flowers for Valentine's Day, my birthday, anniversary, etc. And while I really do love them, I just hate that they die. I'm known to keep them around until the VERY end. I'm talking the totally dried up, ugly looking things you get after a month. Guess it's a good thing we don't get visitors over here! And then I just can't bear to throw them away because my husband got them for me....so I set them in the garage for a while until we finally come to an understanding they need to meet the dumpster. Yes, we have been married for 9 years now and it's a vicious cycle. I don't know if it stems back to our college days when we were dating and I kept the rose petals so we could have the flower girl throw them at our wedding or if I've always been a dead flower hoarder.

So what's a girl to do with dead flowers that she can't part with? Well tonight I finally realized I could save the seeds and plant them next year and appreciate them all summer long! It will be fun to see what flowers will make it and to remember back on which occasion he gave me those particular flowers.

What I learned today

Kenzie wasn't sure about a girls day with just mom when she heard what the boys were doing, but I think in the end, she enjoyed herself thoroughly. I know I did! And I learned some new things too.

1. Downtown Rockford is such a fun place. We happened upon an event for kids and there were several activities.

Making flags that will be displayed at Cannonsburg

Decorate your own masks

Stand behind several different cut outs for photos

Last, but not least- get your face painted!

2. Fire trucks have hidden compartments. How did I not know this before?

3. It's good to try new foods! Always been a ketchup and mustard fan- no more, no less. Pickles and onions are a good addition!

4. Rockford has awesome places that provide yummy new foods as well. Rudy Kazoody's taffy, Custard by the Dam's chocolate covered espresso beans and the farmer's market fresh kettle corn. I love banana taffy, but rarely ever buy it....mmm, just like I remember it.

5. You can actually use the phrase "You're like a kid in a candy store!" appropriately if you're with a kid in a candy store and they're going crazy over all the sweet treats. 

6. Rockford is a beautiful place to take pictures and I'm looking forward to taking my cousin's wedding photos there next month.

Took quick test shots before it started pouring or I would have taken the cup out of the photo.

7. How much I love this sweet girl and her uniquely beautiful eyes.

8. That this Goodwill location is serious about going green. Seriously? Front row parking?

9. That Sweet Pea knows the electric fence isn't on and more importantly, horses DO NOT like flashes. Not sure who that scared more.

10. That, in the world of gardening, things can take off or make a turn for the bad very quickly.

Taken on July 23. Really excited about my tomatoes!

Taken tonight- 3 wks later. My tomatoes are rapidly dying this week and it's so sad to watch.

Can't tell in the photo, but this pumpkin is pretty big already!

So glad that we're blessed to have a son and daughter and that we take the time to have "boys day" and "girl day" so we can fill up those memory banks in our children.