I sit here knowing I should go to bed, yet I keep pondering a decision I have to make. Friday is my deadline. I am the worst decision maker. While some may think I've ignored a question to which I need to give an answer, it's usually that I've been thinking over it (probably too much!) and am on the fence. I like to take every angle, weigh every option. Chalk it up to my odd perfectionism that only applies to certain areas.
The only time I can without a doubt say I was led by the Lord was the decision to go on a mission trip 2 years ago. It was something I normally wouldn't have stepped out of my comfort zone and done, but I'm so glad I listened to and obeyed the plans the Lord had for me. Maybe that's what brought to mind this song as I have been sitting here praying and contemplating about it tonight. Either way, it's a great song with powerful words and really should be the prayer of our hearts as Christians.
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
It's so easy to get caught up in things that really don't matter- especially these days with the numerous distractions. After I came back from that trip, this verse also became one of my favorites. Hopefully this can be an encouragement to someone else today as well!
Hebrews 12: 1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Six Going on Seven
I remember seeing *those* kids in public. You know, the ones that you wanted to give parenting advice to even though you weren't a parent yet. You thought teaching and being around different kids for several years gave you the credentials to know better than they did. I take it all back! We were "blessed" with a busy, mind-of-his-own, loud, disobedient one. I was on the other side of those looks and pointing now.
I remember people saying that 4 was the magic years for boys. Ok, just TWO more years. Four came and went. Five came and went. Six, here we go. This has to be the year! Ahhh, yes, I think we have made it.
Awhile back I was looking back at old pictures and one thing I noticed was the huge stinker-ish smile he always seemed to have on his face. He sure was a fun loving kid...if fun meant running away from you in public or making messes, etc. At least there was always a smile on his face! I used to joke that kids were expensive, not because of all the things they needed, but because of all the things they destroyed along the way. There was a lot of destruction along the way, but looking back I realize a lot of it was just his curiosity that got the best of him.
I'm not going to lie- those years were pretty frustrating and sometimes terrifying. For example, the time we were at the grocery store and somehow the 3 yr. old figured out how to get out of the seat belt of the extra long cart and I couldn't catch up with him through a product display because of said cart so I had to make a choice of leaving my cart with a baby in it or getting my son. (Thankfully an older mom saw the whole thing happening and said I'll watch her, you go after him.) After that, I sure did go buy one of those backpack leashes and my view of them forever changed!
I love this kid dearly and our lives would be so empty without him and his antics. I would miss the hilarious things he says on a daily basis. (Case in point: he had me laughing so hard during his math lesson today. Who knew math could be so funny?) He is so smart. I can see the Brown mechanic's brain. He excels in math and reading. He LOVES animals. Wild Kratts is his favorite show. He knows way more animal facts than I do! He is always coming up with ways to do things (which usually involve creating a robot to do some part of the project). He currently wants to play basketball and hockey. And the one thing that has always remained is his sweetness. He is so very sweet to babies and little ones. He always wants to get things for other people. And the sweetest thing for me was when we were at Target last week. While Tim and K headed out, Z insisted on grabbing all the bags and told me on the way out that he wanted to get them all so that I didn't have to carry anything to the car. My heart melted. At that moment, I realized he's nowhere near that rambunctious little toddler. He's a sweet six year old that I am so very blessed to call my son.
I remember people saying that 4 was the magic years for boys. Ok, just TWO more years. Four came and went. Five came and went. Six, here we go. This has to be the year! Ahhh, yes, I think we have made it.
Awhile back I was looking back at old pictures and one thing I noticed was the huge stinker-ish smile he always seemed to have on his face. He sure was a fun loving kid...if fun meant running away from you in public or making messes, etc. At least there was always a smile on his face! I used to joke that kids were expensive, not because of all the things they needed, but because of all the things they destroyed along the way. There was a lot of destruction along the way, but looking back I realize a lot of it was just his curiosity that got the best of him.
I'm not going to lie- those years were pretty frustrating and sometimes terrifying. For example, the time we were at the grocery store and somehow the 3 yr. old figured out how to get out of the seat belt of the extra long cart and I couldn't catch up with him through a product display because of said cart so I had to make a choice of leaving my cart with a baby in it or getting my son. (Thankfully an older mom saw the whole thing happening and said I'll watch her, you go after him.) After that, I sure did go buy one of those backpack leashes and my view of them forever changed!
I love this kid dearly and our lives would be so empty without him and his antics. I would miss the hilarious things he says on a daily basis. (Case in point: he had me laughing so hard during his math lesson today. Who knew math could be so funny?) He is so smart. I can see the Brown mechanic's brain. He excels in math and reading. He LOVES animals. Wild Kratts is his favorite show. He knows way more animal facts than I do! He is always coming up with ways to do things (which usually involve creating a robot to do some part of the project). He currently wants to play basketball and hockey. And the one thing that has always remained is his sweetness. He is so very sweet to babies and little ones. He always wants to get things for other people. And the sweetest thing for me was when we were at Target last week. While Tim and K headed out, Z insisted on grabbing all the bags and told me on the way out that he wanted to get them all so that I didn't have to carry anything to the car. My heart melted. At that moment, I realized he's nowhere near that rambunctious little toddler. He's a sweet six year old that I am so very blessed to call my son.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Grandma Brown
There's just so many things I associate with that name. Her laugh. Her smile. The Folgers instant coffee. The way she would always pop a mint in because one time I told her she had coffee breath. Mainly, memories from her place where I kinda grew up. Hot summer days, sitting in the living room with a cool breeze coming in the door while we were watching or listening to a Tiger's game. Playing countless games of "ghosty" baseball in the backyard with my brother. Swinging from, climbing or raking huge piles of leaves from the big maple tree out front. Tinkering with things in my dad's (was grandpa's) shop out front. There are some memories of her homeschooling us, but as I've been told my grandma and I didn't see eye to eye on the work that needed to be done and we butt heads on that, so I think that's why I don't remember a lot. The most memories of all had to do with the kitchen- from helping can or freeze food, to the annual event of making all our baked goods for the fair each summer. I have so many fond memories of her helping us create the nicest looking cakes, cookies and pies. I can still see her showing us how to carefully pour the pumpkin filling in and it comes back to me every time I see a pumpkin pie. And the birthday cake. The banana, 2-tiered cake with powdered sugar frosting and walnuts to decorate it in the number of years that sat on her silver stand.
She was a stubborn, strong, dear, sweet old lady that I didn't come to realize until it was too late. I remember that day where it all started. She had been taken to the hospital where we then found out she had cancer and things looked pretty grim. My mom read in her journals later that she had suspected it, but never mentioned a thing. That's how she was. I remember visiting her in the hospital and my pastor and my best friend's dad coming to comfort us and pray with us. It just seems like another lifetime because her dad is with our Lord now too.
It was a year long battle with ups and downs. I saw my parents take care of her with so much love and respect. It's been 14 years, but I remember the day like yesterday when I was notified that she had passed away in the night. There were no goodbyes. I used to often wonder which way is really better? A quick or drawn out event? I resolve that neither is better. They both stink! I also often wonder if I ever told her I loved her? The Brown side isn't that lovey dovey family and I don't think I did. I can only hope she knew it even though I never said it. And now, oh how I wonder what she would think of me? What would she think of my family and the choices I've made over the years? Each year around Memorial Day we go visit the gravesides of those loved ones who are gone. It seems silly to some, but just being there brings back memories because there were those years past that some of them used to do the same thing with us.
Oh how I wish my children could have met her, but the memories live on as I bake them her bread and banana cake. And better yet- they have their own "Grandma Brown". I remember early on how my mom didn't want to be called that because that's what Grandma was called. While Kenzie was going through last names, she asked me today "Is my grandma, Grandma Brown?" And I said yes. Yes, she is. It's funny how history repeats itself. I was homeschooled and taken care of by my grandma and now the same thing is happening with my children. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful, godly parents who I can trust to help teach and train my children. I hope so much that they will have such love and adoration for their Grandma Brown as I did for mine. If the past few years have been an indicator, well then I think they're on the right track. I felt very much like chopped liver when they found out Grandma couldn't spend the day with them and they were stuck with mom.
She was a stubborn, strong, dear, sweet old lady that I didn't come to realize until it was too late. I remember that day where it all started. She had been taken to the hospital where we then found out she had cancer and things looked pretty grim. My mom read in her journals later that she had suspected it, but never mentioned a thing. That's how she was. I remember visiting her in the hospital and my pastor and my best friend's dad coming to comfort us and pray with us. It just seems like another lifetime because her dad is with our Lord now too.
It was a year long battle with ups and downs. I saw my parents take care of her with so much love and respect. It's been 14 years, but I remember the day like yesterday when I was notified that she had passed away in the night. There were no goodbyes. I used to often wonder which way is really better? A quick or drawn out event? I resolve that neither is better. They both stink! I also often wonder if I ever told her I loved her? The Brown side isn't that lovey dovey family and I don't think I did. I can only hope she knew it even though I never said it. And now, oh how I wonder what she would think of me? What would she think of my family and the choices I've made over the years? Each year around Memorial Day we go visit the gravesides of those loved ones who are gone. It seems silly to some, but just being there brings back memories because there were those years past that some of them used to do the same thing with us.
Oh how I wish my children could have met her, but the memories live on as I bake them her bread and banana cake. And better yet- they have their own "Grandma Brown". I remember early on how my mom didn't want to be called that because that's what Grandma was called. While Kenzie was going through last names, she asked me today "Is my grandma, Grandma Brown?" And I said yes. Yes, she is. It's funny how history repeats itself. I was homeschooled and taken care of by my grandma and now the same thing is happening with my children. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful, godly parents who I can trust to help teach and train my children. I hope so much that they will have such love and adoration for their Grandma Brown as I did for mine. If the past few years have been an indicator, well then I think they're on the right track. I felt very much like chopped liver when they found out Grandma couldn't spend the day with them and they were stuck with mom.
Friday, September 2, 2011
What can I do?
This thought keeps going through my head for the last week. What can I do to help? What can I do to bring in more money for my family, for the ministry I work at, for my friend's family that was in a tragic accident, for those going on mission trips, and for the people I met on Cat Island who lost SO much from the hurricane.
The hardest part is choosing one over the other and I would like to help all my friends. This morning, the last one is the biggest on my mind: Cat Island. As some of you know, I spent a week there last summer. It was the first mission trip I had ever been on and it was an amazing experience that I still just haven't been able to sum up into words. The bottom line: it made a huge impact on my life and I feel the need to help them during this time.
I just read Caleb's account of the devastation on the island and the great need they all have for water, food, basic supplies and materials to rebuild their homes. It makes my heart break as everywhere I turn in our house, I see how incredibly blessed we are with all of that. We have SO much to be thankful for! We have a roof over our head and it's intact. Electricity, drinking water and food. All the things we take for granted most of the time.
With my work situation currently up in the air, I can't give the money I don't have or possibly won't be getting. So what can I do? Thinking of how much we have and I've wanted to do a garage sale, I think now's the time to have that sale! I had my kids sit here and watch the slideshow of the devastation they're dealing with and I'm so proud of them going through items and saying "Sell it!".
So what can you do?
PRAY!
GIVE!
(I can personally vouch for these people that 100% of donations are going to the relief efforts on Cat Island.)
DONATE
If you have anything laying around the house that you want to donate to the garage sale let me know. I'm hoping to get the sale ready by Thursday, but might have to do it the following week as well. To maximize the money we can raise, I will check ebay to see the going rate and figure out which avenue would be the most advantageous to sell them.
Thanks to those of you who took the time to read this. I will keep you updated on how this plays out, but my intent is to give mostly to the Cat Island fund. If you would like to donate items toward the McClaren family fund, I will keep it separated if you let me know. You can read their story here and find out where to send monetary donations directly as well.
The hardest part is choosing one over the other and I would like to help all my friends. This morning, the last one is the biggest on my mind: Cat Island. As some of you know, I spent a week there last summer. It was the first mission trip I had ever been on and it was an amazing experience that I still just haven't been able to sum up into words. The bottom line: it made a huge impact on my life and I feel the need to help them during this time.
I just read Caleb's account of the devastation on the island and the great need they all have for water, food, basic supplies and materials to rebuild their homes. It makes my heart break as everywhere I turn in our house, I see how incredibly blessed we are with all of that. We have SO much to be thankful for! We have a roof over our head and it's intact. Electricity, drinking water and food. All the things we take for granted most of the time.
With my work situation currently up in the air, I can't give the money I don't have or possibly won't be getting. So what can I do? Thinking of how much we have and I've wanted to do a garage sale, I think now's the time to have that sale! I had my kids sit here and watch the slideshow of the devastation they're dealing with and I'm so proud of them going through items and saying "Sell it!".
So what can you do?
PRAY!
GIVE!
(I can personally vouch for these people that 100% of donations are going to the relief efforts on Cat Island.)
DONATE
If you have anything laying around the house that you want to donate to the garage sale let me know. I'm hoping to get the sale ready by Thursday, but might have to do it the following week as well. To maximize the money we can raise, I will check ebay to see the going rate and figure out which avenue would be the most advantageous to sell them.
Thanks to those of you who took the time to read this. I will keep you updated on how this plays out, but my intent is to give mostly to the Cat Island fund. If you would like to donate items toward the McClaren family fund, I will keep it separated if you let me know. You can read their story here and find out where to send monetary donations directly as well.
Monday, August 22, 2011
My Dead Flowers
Apparently I didn't get my Grandma Brown's green thumb. My husband and I have a joke about how he gets me flowers and I manage to kill them quickly. One day I received flowers at work. All I saw was the reminder card about watering your flowers and I remember laughing and saying that these had to be from him. (I found out later there actually was a note from him, I just missed it.) My husband usually gets me flowers for Valentine's Day, my birthday, anniversary, etc. And while I really do love them, I just hate that they die. I'm known to keep them around until the VERY end. I'm talking the totally dried up, ugly looking things you get after a month. Guess it's a good thing we don't get visitors over here! And then I just can't bear to throw them away because my husband got them for me....so I set them in the garage for a while until we finally come to an understanding they need to meet the dumpster. Yes, we have been married for 9 years now and it's a vicious cycle. I don't know if it stems back to our college days when we were dating and I kept the rose petals so we could have the flower girl throw them at our wedding or if I've always been a dead flower hoarder.
So what's a girl to do with dead flowers that she can't part with? Well tonight I finally realized I could save the seeds and plant them next year and appreciate them all summer long! It will be fun to see what flowers will make it and to remember back on which occasion he gave me those particular flowers.
So what's a girl to do with dead flowers that she can't part with? Well tonight I finally realized I could save the seeds and plant them next year and appreciate them all summer long! It will be fun to see what flowers will make it and to remember back on which occasion he gave me those particular flowers.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
What I learned today
Kenzie wasn't sure about a girls day with just mom when she heard what the boys were doing, but I think in the end, she enjoyed herself thoroughly. I know I did! And I learned some new things too.
1. Downtown Rockford is such a fun place. We happened upon an event for kids and there were several activities.
4. Rockford has awesome places that provide yummy new foods as well. Rudy Kazoody's taffy, Custard by the Dam's chocolate covered espresso beans and the farmer's market fresh kettle corn. I love banana taffy, but rarely ever buy it....mmm, just like I remember it.
1. Downtown Rockford is such a fun place. We happened upon an event for kids and there were several activities.
 |
| Making flags that will be displayed at Cannonsburg |
 |
| Decorate your own masks |
 |
| Stand behind several different cut outs for photos |
 |
| Last, but not least- get your face painted! |
2. Fire trucks have hidden compartments. How did I not know this before?
3. It's good to try new foods! Always been a ketchup and mustard fan- no more, no less. Pickles and onions are a good addition!
 |
4. Rockford has awesome places that provide yummy new foods as well. Rudy Kazoody's taffy, Custard by the Dam's chocolate covered espresso beans and the farmer's market fresh kettle corn. I love banana taffy, but rarely ever buy it....mmm, just like I remember it.
 |
5. You can actually use the phrase "You're like a kid in a candy store!" appropriately if you're with a kid in a candy store and they're going crazy over all the sweet treats.
6. Rockford is a beautiful place to take pictures and I'm looking forward to taking my cousin's wedding photos there next month.
 |
| Took quick test shots before it started pouring or I would have taken the cup out of the photo. |
7. How much I love this sweet girl and her uniquely beautiful eyes.
8. That this Goodwill location is serious about going green. Seriously? Front row parking?
 |
9. That Sweet Pea knows the electric fence isn't on and more importantly, horses DO NOT like flashes. Not sure who that scared more.
10. That, in the world of gardening, things can take off or make a turn for the bad very quickly.
 |
| Taken on July 23. Really excited about my tomatoes! |
 |
| Taken tonight- 3 wks later. My tomatoes are rapidly dying this week and it's so sad to watch. |
 |
| Can't tell in the photo, but this pumpkin is pretty big already! |
So glad that we're blessed to have a son and daughter and that we take the time to have "boys day" and "girl day" so we can fill up those memory banks in our children.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Once in a lifetime
Ok, it's not that rare I suppose, but I can't remember the last time that we have spent the day- the whole day- home together. Well, my husband and son did run out to the store real quick, but other than that we spent the day relaxing and just having fun together. It was so incredibly nice. It was one of those "just loving life" days. The kids have been tickled at least a hundred times today! I love the sound of laughter- especially their laughter. One of their fav games is playing hide n seek in the house. One day we had a war of the bean bags that I won't forget. It's those memories that last. I still fondly remember the games of hide n seek inside when I was young.
It was sweet to watch the kids interact and laugh together. Most of the time Z doesn't love playing with K, but today he didn't mind. Yesterday she woke up early so I was cuddling with her on the couch, while he was on the other one. He kept saying "I think her wants to cuddle with me." (Yes, we're working on the he/his/him/she/her.) So I got up and took her over there where he had his arms opened wide and a look on his face that just beamed with joy. It is one of those things I'll remember for a while.
She has been a little feverish lately, but still her sweet self. Today, well I don't know what her deal was. Early in the day she kept saying Grandpa, so I had to keep telling her he was at home and wasn't coming today. I guess she didn't believe me. She later climbed up on the couch and looked out the window saying "Grandpa, Grandpa, Hi Grandpa...." It's no doubt, she is Grandpa's girl and that's ok. (Right Grandma? You've got the other one! :) ) It has been a blessing that my dad is able to watch the kids when I have to work. It has created a special bond between them all - which is obvious with my little girl. My little man on the other hand would tease him in the way that every time he would walk through the door he would run and hid and say he was scared. I seriously do not know what goes through that boy's mind sometimes! (ok, MOST of the time!) And then during the summer they get to have their special bond with Grandma.
On that note, I really should get some sleep. I guess it just goes to show how much being out and about really can tire you out. I'm really not tired, yet I know morning will come early again. If only I could program my son to sleep in!
It was sweet to watch the kids interact and laugh together. Most of the time Z doesn't love playing with K, but today he didn't mind. Yesterday she woke up early so I was cuddling with her on the couch, while he was on the other one. He kept saying "I think her wants to cuddle with me." (Yes, we're working on the he/his/him/she/her.) So I got up and took her over there where he had his arms opened wide and a look on his face that just beamed with joy. It is one of those things I'll remember for a while.
She has been a little feverish lately, but still her sweet self. Today, well I don't know what her deal was. Early in the day she kept saying Grandpa, so I had to keep telling her he was at home and wasn't coming today. I guess she didn't believe me. She later climbed up on the couch and looked out the window saying "Grandpa, Grandpa, Hi Grandpa...." It's no doubt, she is Grandpa's girl and that's ok. (Right Grandma? You've got the other one! :) ) It has been a blessing that my dad is able to watch the kids when I have to work. It has created a special bond between them all - which is obvious with my little girl. My little man on the other hand would tease him in the way that every time he would walk through the door he would run and hid and say he was scared. I seriously do not know what goes through that boy's mind sometimes! (ok, MOST of the time!) And then during the summer they get to have their special bond with Grandma.
On that note, I really should get some sleep. I guess it just goes to show how much being out and about really can tire you out. I'm really not tired, yet I know morning will come early again. If only I could program my son to sleep in!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)